Zanna Ker - Eternal Life Assembly

When God restored to us our wedding rings – and our marriage

Zanna Ker — Sat, 06 Sep 2025 03:58:00 +0000

TRIGGER WARNING: This story mentions suicide ideation that some may find distressing. Reader discretion is advised. If you have thoughts of suicide or self-harm, do reach out for help.

It’s hard to fathom how close I was to attempting suicide. Not just my own life, but I even considered ending my children’s lives before I took mine.

“Till death do us part” was how I wanted to end the marriage, to end the pain, and to end it all.

My husband Eric and I got married very young in the Philippines. Although we faced many struggles as young parents, we managed to overcome them through working hard.

We moved to Singapore for better prospects, but we never expected our marriage to face its toughest test. Debts piled up from the high costs of living, and our relationship began to strain.

I worked multiple night shifts to provide for our family, leaving little time at home. In my absence, Eric had an affair.

The betrayal shattered me. Rage was my first instinct. How was this justifiable? Even if I was busy at work, it was for the family.

In anger, I filed for annulment in the Philippines. Thoughts of “life is no longer worth living” kept resounding in my head. I even thought of taking my children’s lives!

How could I let them live with a man who has betrayed us! Deep down, I knew these thoughts were wrong, but my heart was so wrung.

Broken and betrayed, I poured out my pain on social media. That was when Pastor Bob and Pastor Alvin reached out to me.

Before this crisis, Eric and I had a shallow faith. We were contented Sunday Christians. But when our marriage crumbled, God sent pastors to walk with us.

They were spiritual fathers who relentlessly guided us toward healing and a deeper walk with God.

They arranged for us to go through marriage counselling. Pastor Bob taught Eric to court me again, while Pastor Alvin consistently prayed for me and encouraged me to forgive.

The restoration of our marriage seemed foolish. Suicidal thoughts persisted.

Many nights, I wrestled in agony, crying out to God to forgive me of my dark thoughts.

Yet every morning, my phone revealed the countless missed calls from Pastor Bob, who never gave up on us.

I clung to my grief, refusing to forgive him. Why should I? Bitterness festered like poison, and my anger led me to believe he was undeserving of even a drop of forgiveness.

I removed my wedding ring and confiscated Eric’s. He had no right to wear it. I had planned to sell them, to erase all memories, but the rings went missing, and my plan failed.

Harbouring that grudge deepened my turmoil.

As a child of God, I knew I should forgive, but living it out felt impossible.

I tried every way to forgive Eric, even chopping cabbages until they were mashed to release my anger.

Weary, I asked God for signs to forgive my husband: first, that our wedding rings would be found; and second, that Eric would have a renewed relationship with the Lord.

The second sign came quickly. Eric became more serious about his faith. He grew in the fear of the Lord, and this assured me that he would not repeat his mistake.

The first sign unfolded like a miracle. During a service, the speaker gave an altar call for families, and I felt nudged to step forward with Eric, but the rings were still missing!

Tearing, I reached into my bag for a tissue. My fingers brushed something hard and cold. The missing wedding rings! Tucked inside the very packet of tissue I had carried daily, unseen and unfound, until this exact moment.

I was speechless.

God had timed this perfectly. Gazing at the rings on my palm, I whispered, “Lord, I surrender.”

As we walked to the front, I silently told God that if Ps Bob prayed for us, I would give him the rings. When he approached near the end of the altar call, I surrendered them and said,

“Pastor Bob, today is the day I forgive my husband. Will you pray for us and bless our marriage again?”

Tears streamed as Pastor Bob prayed, recommitting our marriage into God’s hands. At the altar, we exchanged our wedding rings once again.

It had taken us four long years. I realised that while Eric bore responsibility for his choices, I had unintentionally contributed to the distance in our marriage. The enemy simply seized the opportunity to steal, kill, and destroy.

Today, there is no unforgiveness in my heart toward Eric or the third party. When she faced a crisis, I was the first to help her, pray for her, and even hug her, without resentment.

Beyond the emotional restoration, God restored us financially and spiritually. He placed different people in our lives to teach us how to overcome our debts and manage our finances properly. As Joel 2:25 says “I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten”.

In addition to this threefold restoration, God gave us a calling. Eric and I pursued our Bachelor of Theology and now serve as ministers in the Filipino Ministry, enjoying a vibrant relationship with Jesus and the privilege to serve Him!

God has blessed our children with stable jobs and bright futures. What the enemy meant for destruction, God turned for good (see Genesis 50:20), displaying His power and unfailing love.

Today, I am a testimony of God’s ability to heal all wounds. He restored my heart, our family, and gave us a future overflowing with hope!

Everyone makes mistakes in life, but who am I to withhold forgiveness if God has already forgiven us all.

If you are struggling to forgive someone, would you allow Jesus to heal you today?

The post When God restored to us our wedding rings – and our marriage first appeared on Eternal Life Assembly.

“I went to heal others, but God healed me.”

Zanna Ker — Sat, 22 Feb 2025 03:00:00 +0000

It was a low period in my life.

My mother passed away seven months ago in March 2024. As it neared my birthday, memories of her flooded my mind, leaving deep feelings of grief and loss.

At that time, I pretended that I was strong and doing well, yet inside I was very broken, and didn’t know how my brokenness would heal.

Two options for briefly leaving the country were presented to me – either a leisure trip with friends or a missions trip to Cambodia with a team from the Healing Ministry.

I’ve always had fears regarding safety. I am also very timid, afraid of even lizards, much less the bigger uncertainty that comes with missions trips. Would I really be alright on this trip?

Fears crept up on me, but I heard a voice telling me to stop dwelling on my grief and get up to do something. After much deliberation, I decided to join the missions trip team. My prayer was for God to help me focus more on helping people instead of my pain.

“ I heard a voice telling me to stop dwelling on my grief and get up to do something ”

I went there thinking I could bless them by speaking healing into their lives. But God had so much more in store for me.

God’s Tender Touch

On one particular day, the team was to visit Location A to pray for children, adults, and the elderly. But there was a miscommunication, and our drivers brought us to Location B instead, where there were only children.

In light of the situation, Pastor Matthew suggested that we minister to the children there and pray for them while waiting for further instructions. So I rallied the children, took out the cookies and biscuits we had prepared, and was just about to pray for anyone with physical pain when Ps Matthew piped up.

“Before we pray, why don’t all the children give Auntie Dolly a hug first?”

The children approached me, one by one, throwing their tiny arms over my shoulders. These kids longed for love, yet they uninhibitedly poured their love into me, a total stranger to them. A deep sense of love flooded my heart as they embraced me, and tears of joy sprang to my eyes.

This was a genuine, tender, wordless exchange of love and tears, and in that moment, I knew that the Lord had touched me deeply. He had seen my pain and was assuring me of His love for me , which I needed at that point in my life.

“ He had seen my pain and was assuring me of His love for me ”

God continued to renew my inner being through the healing of an old lady who was blind. After Pastor Matthew prayed for her, she was so happy because she could finally see and recognise the faces of the people she knew by voice.

It dawned upon me then, that in the same way God has given this lady a new lens to see the world, so will He also give me a new lens to see my life very differently.

The old lady walked away rejoicing at her own healing, and so did I, because God enabled me to see things in a brighter way. I could sense a renewed joy in my heart that chased away the gloom of the past.

“ I could sense a renewed joy in my heart that chased away the gloom of the past. ”

Never The Same

Ever since God used this healing missions trip to heal me emotionally, I’ve received a greater calling and a greater purpose in life. My emotions may fluctuate and there are times I feel inadequate. But God reminded me that He loves me, and I’m precious to Him. If He can use a donkey, He can use me too.

I’m also more convinced that there is power in God’s healing, and want others to feel the same joy I felt when God touched me! God has changed the timid me into someone enthusiastic about reaching out to more people so that they can experience God’s healing.

Beyond my personal encounter with the Lord, the missions trip was filled with miracles too. Lots of locals approached us with pain in their joints, legs, and arms, and they were healed after praying in the name of Jesus. They were so hungry for an encounter with the Lord. Witnessing the joy in their faces when healing happened was truly remarkable.

It actually made me reflect on our faith in Singapore. Living in a first-world nation, complacency tends to kick in because we have access to medical care and the Gospel. But seeing the hunger that the Cambodians have for God made me pause. Are we as hungry for God as they are?

Going on missions has deepened my faith in God too. He makes the impossible, possible! Whatever He says in the Bible is indeed true – when He says the lame shall walk, I saw the lame walk! When He says the blind shall see, I saw the blind see. When He says the deaf shall hear, I saw the deaf hear.

“ He makes the impossible, possible! ”

Seeing the smiles on the Cambodians’ faces and their joy upon being healed, it is evident that God is real and working in our world.

CALL TO ACTION:

Today, as you’re reading this article, I encourage you to make missions trips a priority in your life! Don’t wait for time in your schedule. Make time for God to work in and through you.

Will you partner with Jesus to reach more for Him?

Give to missions: your time and finances will go a long way, both locally and overseas.
Pray for missions: pray for our mission partners and the work there.
Go for missions: be God’s hands and feet to a world yet to know Him.

The post “I went to heal others, but God healed me.” first appeared on Eternal Life Assembly.

“Death seemed so much easier” – A story of a coach who struggled through depression to find renewed purpose in Christ

Jireh Tham — Sat, 28 Dec 2024 13:40:44 +0000

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of suicide, self-harm

“What’s the point of living when all I’m encountering are dead ends and never-ending challenges?

My name is Lydia, and I’m 30 this year.

Coaching is my passion, and I believe it stems from everything I’ve been through in life.

Growing up, my parents worked tirelessly to provide for the family. Everything my siblings and I needed, they gave to us. Because of that, I grew up believing that if I ever wanted to achieve anything in life, I could do it through my own efforts.

In secondary school, I began seeking the approval and attention of others. My teachers and teammates became the markers of my worth.

I realized that I could earn their respect through achievements. Success became my source of validation. Each validation felt almost like love.

Because of this experience, I developed a core belief: “Do well, be useful, and you will be worthy of love.”

“Do well, be useful, and you will be worthy of love.”

Yet, little did I know that this seemingly simple belief would eventually lead me down a path of self-destruction, since this belief left no room for failure.

I lived life as a teenage girl constantly gripped by the fear of losing my sense of self and self-worth. In class, I pretended to understand everything the teacher was saying because I didn’t want to look foolish.

Before races, I was so overwhelmed with fear and anxiety that I’d put on my shades so no one could see my eyes. I’d cry my way to the start line while everyone else on the shore assumed I was destined to win.

At home, I portrayed myself as the independent child who had everything under control. Since my worth and identity were tied to my achievements and how I believed others perceived me, failure was not an option. Failure would mean becoming a nobody.

When I embraced this belief, my academic results became the be-all and end-all of my existence.

In Junior College, I enrolled via the Direct School Admission (DSA) program through my sport, kayaking. I was constantly surrounded by students who excelled both in sports and academics.

Trying to keep up with them as well as the demands of the national team was exhausting. I buried myself in 11 to 12 training sessions each week. This became my escape from the pain and disappointment of my studies.

Before I knew it, I burned out, and it affected my kayaking performance. I failed to make the cut for the 2011 SEA Games — just one second off.

Unable to process my emotions, I started harming myself. I was trying to numb the pain, but it only deepened my despair. I spiraled so badly that suicidal thoughts consumed me 24/7.

These thoughts eventually drove me to make an attempt on my life. I reached a point of unbearable pain and asked myself, “What’s the point of living when all I’m encountering are dead ends and never-ending challenges? Death seems so much easier.”

“What’s the point of living when all I’m encountering are dead ends and never-ending challenges? Death seems so much easier.”

I attempted to overdose on pure caffeine powder, hoping it would end my life along with the pain.

Yet miraculously, I survived. I woke up in the hospital and saw my parents’ faces filled with heartbreak and misery. Their pain hurt me more deeply than I could have imagined. In that moment, I realized two things:

We don’t get to choose when we leave this world. If it’s not our time and we attempt to go, we’re only left to suffer the consequences of our actions.
I vowed never to do something so impulsive again. If I were to die by suicide, I’d be gone, but my family and friends would be the ones left to suffer.

But knowing these didn’t make the depression go away. I still held on to the false belief that I needed to earn the approval of others, and this belief kept me in darkness. I couldn’t break free. All I could do was try my best to hold on.

Some years later, after graduating from Junior College (JC), a few old friends reached out to me and offered to walk with me.

One friend in particular told me, “I feel it in my heart that God wants me to bring you back.” Another friend asked, “Since you’ve tried everything else, why not give God one more chance?”

I had previously attended church regularly during my JC years after being invited by some friends. But at that time, I didn’t consider myself a Christian. God was simply an item on my calendar. With nothing to lose, I decided to give God one more shot.

With nothing to lose, I decided to give God one more shot.

These precious friends walked with me, prayed with me, and patiently answered every single question I had. I knew that whatever they did for me was more than just words.

I felt so deeply cared for. Through them, I experienced God’s unconditional love. It was this love that helped me keep fighting through recurrent depressive episodes.

All seemed well until an event in December 2022 left me in deep depression. I had a fallout with someone very close to me, and it completely shattered me.

Within the span of two months, I attempted to take my life three times by jumping off a HDB* flat. The pain was so unbearable that I’d forgotten the vow I’d made. I just wanted the pain to end.

*HDB – Housing and Development Board (HDB) is the national public housing authority of Singapore that houses approximately 77.8% of Singaporeans (Source: Singstat 2023).

But then something unexpected happened on the third occasion. I stood on the 40th floor, looking toward the horizon one last time. Then I heard a voice — God’s voice. I was ready to jump, so I knew it couldn’t have been my own voice. The voice said:

“Child, I know what you’re thinking. Honestly, there’s no one to stop you right now. But you will have to face the consequences of your actions. Your family, your friends — think about them again.

Think about what they went through in 2015. Is that what you want them to experience for the rest of their lives? You’ve tried so long and hard.

If you jump now, I can’t use your life to show others that there’s hope in living. I know it’s hard, but can you give yourself one more chance? Trust me, I will help you.”

With that, I decided to entrust my life to God. I stepped away from the ledge in tears before I could change my mind. I took the lift down, ran to my bike, and called Pastor Daphne.

She picked up right away. Like before, she stayed with me on the phone for as long as I needed. She listened as I cried. She prayed as I cried. She stayed calm.

I choked on my words, telling her I couldn’t do this anymore, that I wanted to die. But she kept telling me it was okay, that God was in control, and that she was with me. She reminded me over and over how much God loves me.

If God hadn’t sent someone like Pastor Daphne into my life, I wouldn’t be here sharing my story today. This incident made me realize how closely I’d walked with death.

This incident made me realize how closely I’d walked with death.

I knew that God would help me, but I also had to help myself. So I made a pact with myself:

Suicide will no longer be my first option. If I’m struggling, I will seek help. I’ll call or text my friends, or anyone God has placed in my life.
I will live through the darkest night. If I’m unable to help myself, that’s okay. But I will not harm myself. I’ll stay in bed until I’m ready to move around without harming myself.

This pact marked the beginning of my healing. I sought therapy and inner healing courses to process my pain.

Community played a key role in my healing too. When I went to Eternal Life Assembly, God brought me into a new community called the Sycamore Life Group.

They are filled with crazy, fun-loving people who are always full of joy and laughter. They provided me with continuous prayer support, and people like Ps Daphne, Mei Yun, and Ying Ting continually journeyed with me and prayed for me through my ups and downs.

Through this journey, I’ve come to know God as the builder of my life. He’s the one who takes away the old parts of the house — the destructive patterns and harmful thoughts that dictated my life — patterns I thought would never go away. Over time, these thoughts grew smaller and became more under control.

He’s the one who takes away the old parts of the house — the destructive patterns and harmful thoughts that dictated my life — patterns I thought would never go away.

Not only that, but God also continues to add new bricks to my house. Day by day, He adds these bricks by speaking to me whenever I read the Bible, pray, or listen to worship songs. He tells me that He loves me very, very much — unconditionally.

Believing in God doesn’t take away all my problems and pain. But believing in God gives me the courage and the strength to face them. In the midst of my suffering and pain, I know God is here with me.

In the past, whenever I thought about my future, I would be filled with suicidal thoughts and fear. But now, because I know He is with me, I can have hope for the future.

Life is not perfect. I still have moments when my suicidal thoughts return, and that’s okay. I know I’m still a work in progress, and God is still building this new house.

I used to despise having to manage the challenges of borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, and ADHD. But now, they have become a part of me. They serve as a testament to the grace that God gives me to live each day.

Friends, if you’re having a tough time, I want to encourage you: Stay alive. Every single day that we live is a gift from God. No matter how hopeless things seem today, they will not be the same tomorrow.

So, back to the question that I’ve always asked myself: What’s the point of living when life is filled with dead ends and never-ending challenges?

This is my answer: I live for the One who created me, and I depend on the One who loves me.

I live for the One who created me, and I depend on the One who loves me.

Death may seem like a much easier choice, but death will not end the pain. Death will only transfer the pain to our loved ones.

So fight on. Fight to live on. Use all your energy to cling to God. His love will never fail us. He will not guarantee that our life will be without pain and suffering, but He will definitely be with us every step of the way, through our highs and lows.

So rely on the people around you. Together, you will be able to see that there is purpose, and there is hope, even in your suffering.

The post “Death seemed so much easier” – A story of a coach who struggled through depression to find renewed purpose in Christ first appeared on Eternal Life Assembly.