It began with increased thirst and urination, constant fatigue, and frequent cravings for sweet drinks. Then one day, I fell very ill, and my mother rushed me to the hospital. The doctor told her that I was in diabetic ketoacidosis – a life-threatening complication from Type 1 diabetes.
Had I gone to the hospital a day late, I would have died!
At eight years old, I did not understand what having Type 1 diabetes meant, nor expected needles, insulin, and medication to become my daily companions.
Besides pain, the injections also left scars on my abdomen and thighs, to the extent that my body was not absorbing the insulin well at one point, due to the build-up of scar tissue. The insulin pump would also malfunction because it could sense that it was unable to deliver insulin into my body.
While other children could freely enjoy ice cream, cakes, and sugary treats, I could only look at them longingly through the shop display windows.
There were activities such as swimming that I had to avoid too. School camp was out because my teachers did not allow it. I almost could not join the ultimate frisbee team because the teacher-in-charge was concerned about my condition.
Gradually, the burden of living with diabetes took over. Shame crept in as my lifestyle was different from my peers’. Fear of being seen as weak and fragile lowered my self-esteem. All the missed opportunities and the challenges my friends never had to think about made me resentful.
“The girl with a chronic illness” became an identity I gave myself.
As years passed, new worries emerged. Would I become a burden to my parents? Would anyone be willing to marry me? Could I have children, and would they inherit my condition? The future felt uncertain and discouraging, prompting countless cries to
God: “Why me?”
God did not answer my question.
In His time, He revealed His grace in the midst of my struggles.
Managing diabetes is something that cannot simply be put on hold. Any malfunctioning device or an unexpected change in blood sugar levels demands immediate attention. In those anxious moments, God gently reminded me to lift my eyes from my circumstances to Him.
One such occasion came during a school elective in India. The buttons on the insulin pump were stuck, and the pump could not work. That was my only pump for the trip, and the nearest help centre was at least two hours away. Panic set in.
My friends and my family in Singapore prayed for me fervently. God answered!
He gave my friends, who were trawling the Internet, the solution to fix the buttons. By His grace, I survived!
Even in everyday situations, God has reminded me of His care and of how real He is. There were times when only high-sugar or high-carbohydrate food was available. I would then have to administer more insulin to curb my blood sugars from spiking after meals. But there is no guarantee that my blood sugar would remain stable. Yet on many occasions, my readings had remained stable or risen only slightly. Medical science cannot fully explain this, but
truly, it is God’s gracious hand at work, even in the smallest details.
Experiences like these remind me that God is in control, even when life feels uncertain.
Over time, the condition I once resented became the very means through which
God taught me dependence
not on medication but on Him. Through every challenge, He has faithfully sustained me.
Spending time reading His Word, praying and growing in my relationship with Him led me to know who I am in Christ and to reconcile with my condition.
Yes, living with diabetes requires sacrifices, but they pale in comparison to Christ’s sacrifice for all who would believe in Him.
That truth has given me hope, purpose and strength to persevere.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
As God continued to shape my heart,
He showed me that my identity is not defined by my illness or my limitations. I am a deeply loved daughter of the Most High King.
Indeed, the fears I carried were largely unfounded. New friends did not see me as “The girl with a chronic illness”. They accepted me for who I am. The truth that my identity is firmly rooted in God’s love freed me from the insecurity that had held me captive.
It gave me a new purpose – to live for God’s glory and serve Him faithfully.
Today, I embrace life with gratitude. Rather than dwelling on what I cannot do, I choose to focus on what God has enabled me to do through His strength. His love has given me the confidence to move forward with hope.
Years ago, a pastor prayed over me,
“God is going to turn your infirmities into inspiration for people”.
At that time, I could not imagine how that would happen. Looking back, God’s hand is evident throughout my journey with Type 1 diabetes. More than a story of living with a chronic illness, it is a testimony of God’s sustaining grace, unwavering faithfulness, and overflowing love.
His grace is unending, His love is overflowing, His mercies are new every morning.
Reflections:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
- Bring your “Why?” to God. Trust that even when He does not answer your questions, His grace will sustain you.
- Let God shape you. Allow Him to use your struggles to transform you.
- Look for God’s faithfulness every day. Recognise and thank God for His constant presence and provision, even in life’s ordinary moments.
